Wednesday, November 19, 2008

High-School type BS and jealousy

No, this isn't another HauntSpace rant. :) It's a work-related rant, pertaining to some of the people I have to spend 8 hours a night, 4 nights a week with.

High school for me was 20 years ago - seriously, our 20-year reunion was in July this past summer. I didn't like it then, and I don't like the same kind of asinine behavior coming from certain people now.

I don't make friends in person very easily. Acquaintances, yes... have tons of them, but friends? People I think I can count on and who listen to me when I need them? No, those are very few and far between for me. I don't have the big social circle that I used to have, so being thrown into a work situation gave me one again. I'm a really nice person. I smile at everyone, even people I don't really care for. I say hi to anyone I make eye contact with. I try to make people feel at ease and cheer up those who seem down. I always ask if they're all right when they look ill or sad. I am just one of those people who care. Shoot me, oh FSM, shoot me - I dare to care!!!!

I work with my sister for the Evil Empire. We even work in the same department, which gives me plenty of time with her to catch up and all. That's all fine and dandy with me. She is the one person that I knew I could talk to there and I already knew everything about everybody who worked there well before I even set foot in the store. People don't realize this though. They think I'm some naive chick who doesn't "get" things, or that since I haven't worked there as long as most of them that I don't "know" things. I know a lot. I am a watcher, a listener. I tend to pay attention to small things, and hear the things that weren't spelled out. Seriously, sometimes I think I should have either gone into the mental health field or the Forensics field. I like details.

Anyway, For the first few weeks, I pretty much kept to myself, aside from hanging with my sister during our lunches and breaks. Now, she is one of those people who has had issues with a lot of the people there. Mostly it's because she is a hard worker and expects the same from her coworkers. When they play around all the time and she's picking up their slack, it's a problem. She also tends to get wrapped up in the personal crap of other people who she THINKS are friends, and it ends up badly every time. Long story short - the problem was solved with moving her to a new department, but the nagging issues remained - people don't like her. So in turn, I felt that several of them don't like me either, simply because I am her sister, even though she and I aren't really much alike and I have never done ANYTHING to anyone there. Even on my first day (granted, I don't think anyone knew who I was), half those people wouldn't even acknowledge me or look me in the eye. I think some of them are realizing though that I am not her or that I'm alright for a new girl on the block and at least say hi now.

The problem now it seems, is that I AM a nice person. Not saying my sister is not a nice person, she IS - she is a kind and generous person who will go out of her way to help someone when they need it. But she also has an attitude that rivals many a Tasmanian Devil. Love her to death (I know you're reading this Babs), but I don't say anything about anyone that I wouldn't say to their face, and she knows it. When someone pisses her off, she doesn't forget and I don't think forgiveness is high on the list either. They call me the "Nice" sister, she's the "Mean" sister.

I am WAY nice though. I like to form my own opinions. I listen to what people have to say and watch their actions, THEN I base my opinions on that - very rarely do I go on hearsay. I came into this job knowing a lot of what goes on in the store, which should have prejudiced me to an extent. I met the people I'd heard so much about. Some of them I like, some I don't really care to be around, and a lot of them I just don't know enough about to form an opinion about. It's all just dependent on how they act toward me, or what kind of vibe I get from them. I like some people that she does not like, and she likes some people that I don't really want to be around. It's fine, we're different people, we can't like everything the same.

The previous is all basic background for what is bugging me.

I have a friend now, someone outside the "circle" that my sister talks to, and apparently it's an issue. People talk bad about him, some even try to start crap with him. I just don't see why they can't just leave the kid alone. (He's young enough to be my son, BTW.) Most of them haven't bothered to listen to him or talk to him for any length of time or get to know him at all. The only thing they think he knows how to do is be loud, talk sports and handle a pallet jack, sometimes in a dangerously fast fashion. A few of them, including my sister, used to talk to him, but they don't anymore. I think it's a mutual dislike now.

Anyway, I made the effort to get to know him. He's a sensitive kid, very sweet, very helpful and he just needs someone to listen. Of course, he hit on me the first time we ever really talked for more than 5 minutes. I was warned he'd do that, from a few people, so I expected it and quickly made it clear that he ain't got a chance in Hell with me. I make it clear every opportunity that I feel it necessary. I am pretty sure that he knows by now. He doesn't bother with trying anymore, which is a good sign. I also tell my husband everything significant that goes on in the store, including with my new friend. Of course, a lot of the store thinks that I've already given up the nookie to the kid since I spend a good deal of lunch times ( Steak N Shake... Mmmmmmm!) and breaks with him, which is fine, I don't give a rat's ass what any of them think. I give him what he needs more than sex - someone to LISTEN to him. It's what I am good at. I like to listen to people. I like to try to help with feedback if I can. He doesn't have many friends, I think I and another guy at work are about it for his social circle. I listen to EVERYONE though. He's not the only one, he just gets more of my attention because he's around me more than everyone else. So, here is the problem: everyone else at the store can't stand him. My sister complains about him, my other coworkers complain about him, a couple of them are even jealous of him! (As IF ANY of them have a chance with me, PUH-LEASE!) Nobody there has a right to tell me WHO I can talk to or hang out with. If they don't like it, they don't have to be around me either. The only thing I ask of anybody is that they (A) Don't judge me just because I like the kid and (B) don't talk shit about him in front of me. I wouldn't do it to them about their friends, and I don't expect that treatment from them.

I was so pissed off with several people yesterday that I almost just decided not to speak to ANY of them again, including my own sister (at least while at work). There's more to the story, but I won't go into any of that. I just try to remember something one of my coworkers told me - she said for me to remember that I was put into his life for a reason. I believe that. I'm the only one who can calm him down when he needs it (temper, good grief he has a bad temper). I feel like I'm the only one there that truly cares about him. I'm the one who LISTENS. What is so wrong with that? Why does everyone feel the need to shove their noses into it? I know the kid has a crush on me - everyone knows that. Doesn't mean we can't be friends and it damn sure doesn't mean I've already jumped in the sack with him. He's not my type, not in my age range, and just doesn't "do it" for me. He knows he won't ever get me. It's simple. His feelings might get hurt, but that's life. I enjoy his company. He spoke to me when no one else cared to. Not a damn person in the store outside of our department made ANY effort to get to know me until after he did (sisters don't count). He watches out for me, helps me if I need it, and tries to keep me in a good mood. I do the same for him. Why does there have to be drama about that?

I totally just do not get how people can constantly give their ill-founded opinions when they don't take the time to understand things before shooting off at the mouth. It makes me sick and it makes me not even want to bother with any of them. If people, including family, would bother to pay real attention to things, they'd be a little less apt to jump to conclusions and be mean to people who really don't deserve it. I can do without snarky attitudes from people. All it does is make things worse and cause bad feelings all around. I don't like feeling that way at all. My husband is the only one who has a right to say ANYTHING about who I talk to, and he just wants to make sure the kid knows he'll kick his ass if he crosses the line with me. Perfectly acceptable to me and my buddy knows it. Shouldn't that be enough for everyone else? I never thought I was THAT much in demand that people have to freakin' fight over me. It's just ridiculous some things that people say and do, yet they call ME rude? Whatever. High school is over, was a long time ago. Time to grow up people.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Creepy man

So, as some of you know, I work for the Evil Empire on the 3rd shift. I love my job, I love working at night when there aren't many customers around. Unfortunately, we also get the most weirdos during the 3rd shift. Yesterday, I had my first semi-stalker.

I was coming off my first break of the night at 12:15, walking down what we call the "action alley" between grocery and apparel, and I yawned and shook my head. A slightly older black man in a security guard uniform was walking toward me and he stopped in front of me and asked if I was okay. I said yeah, I was just tired and it's gonna be a long night. He asked what time I came in and I told him 10. Then he asked what time my shift ended and I told him 7. A little bit of chit chat about how rough it is working the 3rd shift... then he asked me my name. Well, I held up my name tag on my lanyard which is clearly displayed at all times and told him "Deanna". Then he holds his hand out for me to shake and says his name is St Louis (at least that is what it sounded like he said, the fella has an accent I can really place) and he kinda lingered with holding my hand.

Now, I am not wanting to be rude to a customer, so I easily pull my hand away without completely jerking it out of his hand, even though now I'm kinda creeped out by the dude. He stood too close to me, every time I'd make a move back or over, he'd move too, like almost a foot away from me, which TOTALLY violates my "personal space" rule. The whole time, he maintained eye contact and kept doing this weird look like he was trying to be sexy. It reminds me of Bela Legosi in the Dracula movies of old. Anyway, I politely excused myself saying I had to get to work because my break was over and I have lots to do and I walked away. My sister was up at the front door and saw the guy talking to me and saw me walk away from him.

So, a couple of minutes later, one of my coworkers from Electronics comes walking over to me with this man in tow, asking me if I could help him find a hat or something to keep his ears warm. I said sure, so she walked away and I showed him to the hats (they keep moving them around the men's department, so I had to actually walk over there to find them, otherwise I'd have just pointed him in the general direction). We get to the hats and he stands TOO close for my comfort, but I go on talking, saying that the hats that you can roll or fold would probably be best for what he wants, and I even made a joke about the ski mask type being good for if he wanted to knock off a bank. Then he moves in closer to me and says, "I am too good for that" and is doing that eye/face thing again like he's trying to hypnotize me or something. I'm like, "Uh, okay, I'll bet you are." Then he says, "I can show you how good I am." I said, "Um... I'm sure you could", and I started to back away. Then he grabs my arm and leans toward me again and says, "I can come in here every night". I was like, "You do that", and I pulled my arm away nice and slowly. (I don't like making sudden moves around crazy people, it sets them off.) So then he says to me, grabbing my arm again, "I can come in every night and make things hard for you". I was like, "Uh, you go right ahead and do that", and I pulled my arm away again and started to walk around him to get out of there. Then he grabs my arm again and he repeats himself about coming in and making things hard for me. I told "Good luck with that" and I started to walk off again. Then he says, "This job gives me great power." I'm assuming he means being a security officer, since he did have on a security officer coat. So I said "good luck with that" to him again and I walked away. He says to me, "Why are you walking away from me?" and I turned and said, "I have work to do". He asks again, I said I have work to do again and I walked around the kids' clothes section and then straight up to the front of the store while dialing my sister's cell and telling her to get up to the front with me. I didn't want him to go harass her since she works in the men's department.

We told the CSM at the front of the store and told all the cashiers up there. Apparently, this dude was in there a few times already that night and scared a second shift cashier so bad that she was afraid to walk to her car when she was off work that night. Anyway, he went to check out and bought one of the ski caps (not the full face one, just a regular fold down one) and he exited the store. So, we all went back to work.

Then, less than an hour later, I was putting away my freight and I noticed someone walking toward me in the kids' department. It was him again. This time, he had on a different jacket and the ski cap. I had my hands full, otherwise I'd have pulled my box cutter out of my pocket RIGHT then. He was walking toward me with one hand behind his back *which was the point I was concerned), and I asked him, "What do you want?" He said, "Oh, you recognize me?" I said yeah, then he said "I couldn't sleep". So I immediately dropped what I had in my hands into the closest buggy and started to walk off and said to him over my shoulder, "Maybe you need to take a sleeping pill" and I headed through the clothes racks and tables out of his line of sight and toward the guys over in grocery. I told the first one of them I saw that I need Velton (our assistant manager) RIGHT now. The guy, Jared, said what's wrong and i told him some creep is harassing me, so Jared walked with me up to the front of the store. I told them what happened up there and they paged our manager and one of the supervisors came over and she walked back to the fitting room where my sister and the other lady in apparel were at.

I tried to call my sister, but she was trying to call me at the time and I didn't get an answer, so I started to walk back there to her because I didn't know if she knew he was back and I didn't want him walking up on her. The people up front didn't want me to walk back there, but I went ahead. I stood back behind the counter at the fitting room with my sister and Karla (the supervisor) and the other apparel associate Chanel were standing in the aisle. They told me the guy was walking all over the apparel section looking for me. He didn't speak to any of them, or approach any of them at all. Then he spotted me over there and walked over and Karla very loudly asked him if she could help him find anything. He said he was looking for some gloves, so Karla said to him that this lady (Chanel) will show him to the gloves. Chanel is a big woman, and she don't look like the type you wanna go messing with. She took him over there then came right back. Then he picked some gloves, went to a cashier and when he was paying for them, and the cashier handed him his change, he kinda held her hand in a creepy way instead of just holding his hand out like normal people. He left the store. Thankfully, he didn't come back that night.

Unfortunately, I spent the rest of the night totally looking over my shoulder. It really sucked having to be constantly on guard like that. We in "softlines" are the biggest targets for the creeps because there are usually only 2 or 3 of us and we're spread out over the whole apparel section. The rest of the associates work in pairs or on aisles together, so they're usually never alone. I'm usually alone most of the time working in my section, and a lot of the time, I'm out of the line of sight for everyone when I'm between clothes walls and racks. The guys over in grocery are always just a holler away though, and I have my one little "puppy" who checks in with me all the time, but he wasn't there last night and from what I understand has or is quitting and won't be back. I usually put my blade in my locker if I don't have freight to process in the back room so I don't have to carry it in my pocket all night long, but from now on I think I'll be keeping it on me just in case.

I have the next 4 nights off, which I'm kinda thankful for now. If he comes back, hopefully he'll see I'm not there and maybe think I quit or something. It just bothered me even moreso that he honed in on me and nobody else. I was totally vulnerable when I showed him to the hats because it was out of the way of everyone else's view. My sister saw me hauling ass out of the men's section when he was there that time, so she knew something was up. I wasn't really afraid at that point, because I can certainly take care of myself, but it makes ya feel kinda creepy when ya think about how many times I've been alone back there and not really paying attention to what was going on for a bit.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Haunt Space, revisted, part deux

I feel like I'm stuck in a bad (is there a such thing as a good one?) episode of Days Of Our Lives.

Things were starting to get back to semi-normal. Then I get a little note from a friend saying I should check out the forum over at HauntSpace. Of course, I'm curious because I'm apparently one of the topics there, so I checked it out.

Oh good grief, here we go again. Thanks Pete. For someone who wants to drop it, you sure do post a lot on the forum about it.

Rather than go into a long diatribe, I'll just post the forum post in its entirety and respond to each section in another color. I think yellow will be Pete and I will be blue (I feel blue, so it fits.)

Back from my vacation early.

I really didn't want to do this.

I appreciate those that contribute and make HauntSpace what it is. If you're a member that I never flagged or had a problem witth, this doesn't concern you.

***Yes, and those are the ones who keep butting in and keeping it going.

For the others, this is the deal, like it or not. The drama is apparently "still ongoing" tonight it's going to end on here for good.


***As long as you keep posting it on the forum, it won't end. That's how this whole mess started.

Biting my tongue, trying to, but with the things I'm reading and hearing, it's time to explain my position.

Before we get started, if someone on here is getting angry with this post, or feel that I don't run it right, or feel that I'm the one with the problem here, the door is a click away, because I'm sick of it. I will re-gain control of HauntSpace, even if I have to do it from the very beginning.

Most members that lost their accounts, or deleted their accounts are good people. I'm not trying to take that away from them. I have no hard feelings towards any of them, but my frustration is growing once again.

***Likewise.

No matter what web-site you belong to you have the option to weigh things and make decisions. You can make friends or lose friends. You can chose to fight wars that are impossible to win, engage in drama or contribute the types of qualities that a serious webmaster, or (other) member expects. If someone jumps off a bridge, will you follow them just because you're a friend? Get some common sense. I'm doing what I set out to do and ANYONE can tell you that I like member counts like anyone else. My decisions might be harmful, as some good Haunters left the site, but a couple of them got too wrapped up in things. If people weren't running their mouths, Iwouldn't have to post this.

***Sorry Pete, but if you would address people's concerns in private, you wouldn't have to deal with this. If you answered people's emails, you wouldn't have to deal with this.

We're havin g a problem currently with some folks that weren't happy with my decisions, trying to lure others to another web-site. That's ok, I don't care if you belong to other sites, I do too. But don't be a big baby and try to justify yourself with trying to pull the members from HauntSpace. That shows that you don't care about anyone but yourself. Hence, I'm happy that I did what I did, once again.

Seriously, people are asking me if I am trying to lure people away. I have asked people NOT to leave. I'm getting tired of defending myself over this, and you just keep bringing it back up over and over again, into the public eye.

This all started a while back when a person surrounded by drama and inconsideration wound up leaving the building. That person can't seem to get along with others on ANY web-site. A bunch of the members, 99.0% male subjects had a real problem with me over it. It didn't matter to them that I gave the moron more than one chance, and such moron got some additional licks in after I warned THAT person.

You really should have clarified WHO this person was when you posted that. A LOT of people are assuming that it is ME you're calling a moron. This is why you have the big issues here. You go on and post stuff like this, not naming names, then people make assumptions and the shit hits the fan. It's best to either post a name outright or don't post it at all. For the record, the moron is QueenMorgueAna, not me. (Although I have been known to be a moron at times.) And she and I have NOTHING in common other than both being females and both being kicked off HauntSpace. I don't even really know her other than the fact that she got picked on for buying her props instead of making them. And what the hell does SHE have to do with THIS situation??

Then you have some additional problems, but most of it didn't surface.

The huge problem we had here is that a couple of good members posted some blog material that caused a minor disruption.

A couple of those folks took my actions personaly and decided to come on here and BASH me and my decisions.. That's a no-no on ANYONE'S web-site. The bottom line is that the admin of the site has the right to do what he or she feels is in the better interest of the situation.

***Yes, I took it personally since you posted it to the forum instead of a simple PM. I did not, however, "bash" you. GoE bashed you. I only expressed my surprise at someone getting offended and my opinion that it should have been handled privately. Again, I think I'm justified in that opinion. Just because he and I are friends does not mean we are of the same mind. We are actually quite opposite on most things. Did the people who bashed me and GoE get into trouble too? Equality, does that even come into play? Nope. Favoritism... again.

At no time did I ask for someone else's opinion. I exclaim that.

***When you post something to a forum and don't set it to NO REPLIES, you are inviting opinions, whether they are in agreement or disagreement. You KNOW this. You don't have a problem with people kissing your ass, but if someone disagrees with you (as is our right), you get all high and mighty. Any time you open up a forum with different people, there will be disagreements. Live with it or shut it down.

Instead of complying, a couple of folks wanted to make a bid deal out of it.

We also have a few members here that are completely in my corner and defend me to no end. Kudos to you folks. After all, you guys realize what I do here, the amount of time I spend on here, and how much money I dump into spreading the cheer.

***Look down and behind you. Those would be the ones who are attached to your ass, yet going around causing most of the problems. Do as I say, but not as I do. Why can certain people insult people but the rest of us can't voice our opinion? When did THEY become "better" than the rest of us? Oh wait, THEY suck up to you. Never mind.

But in my eyes, we always have a pack fo people that come up with their own ideas on here. They think they deserve special rights and special privilages.

***Um... I never wanted special privileges, unless you count wanting any problems concerning me done PRIVATELY. I think ALL members should be afforded that little right.
Again, once you put it out there, you invite drama.

During this, I ask that no one messages me, but of course they do, they still moan, complain and tell on their friends. I have to add that most of the messages I got in the past week were very kind and very supportive.

***Again, SOME people don't read the forum. Some don't read your blogs. If you want people to comply with your wishes, you need to find a better way to make them known. I was banned before I ever got a chance to fix anything. So was wandererrob. Like I mentioned to you before, you really should institute some sort of agreeable time period for this stuff. Not everyone sits on the computer all day, so not everyone knows what is going on at all times.

I'm always the one that likes to bend, give second chances and feel bad about certain things. No more.

Now recently, I dealt with a good guy that didn't adhere to my request to remove stuff that could cause distention from his page.

*** Wait, what does abdominal bloating have to do with this?

We had two other people who lacked maturity. They got mad at me, one of which deleted content from a page and an icon. The other one deleted content. During all of this, even after I tried to be nice, kept on going. I ask you, if you get angry over something stupid and fold, do you honestly care about your friend on here, or care about the site? NO! Why should I keep you here then, you're wasting my server space. A couple of folks are just too used to getting what they want in life.

***Thanks, now I lack maturity. I was wondering what my problem was. I find it odd that someone would say that, yet keep posting and posting and deleting and deleting, just like the teenagers with mood swings that I watch on my son's myspace page. At least when I get mad, I stick with how I feel. Would you rather I delete my content or keep arguing on the forum? Given the two, I'd take the missing content. I could have easily let myself go and show a rage-filled temper. I didn't. It's also funny to me, because I seem to remember you constantly going off publicly on a certain person, acting extremely opinionated, using the same foul language he used, and making yourself look like a complete ass in the process. Oh wait, these people here don't know about that. Pete, I still love ya to death, but can the holier than thou approach.

If a couple of folks didn't create the problem, I wouldn't have to play damage control. If things don't go right in your life, too friggen bad. If someone asks you to do something too friggen bad, just do it.

***Again, maybe a time grace period would have solved this problem. You posted about fixing the pages that afternoon, while I was gone and never checked in. I didn't know anything until the next morning. Same thing goes with wandererrob.

Then I have a member who's calling me names to others, although such person says nice things to my face. Another member is preparing to leave. Someone might say, "boohoo, they're calling you names, a big man can handle it". To them I say, "I don't have to". I'm running a serious web-site, I want the folks on here to be serious.

I helped them out the door. I don't have time for it.

The nice thing is that drama kings and queens always run to each other, and most of them always drop the dime on their friends. That always helps me make my decisions.

I especially don't like it when folks gang up on each other. I won't run this site the way "you" want me to run it individually, I will run it with the majority in mind.

***Funny how the "majority" seems to be a small handful of people. The rest of them just keep their mouths shut or fingers still and don't bother. I've seen that "majority" jump on the bandwagon and attack other people for no reason. Even funnier how they don't get kicked off.

We're at a crossroads here.

Like I said before, it's a case of "if I don't like something I'll take my ball and go elsewhere". If a few people would have followed the rules, nothing would have happened. If a few people would have kept out of other people's business, it would have been easier for all of us.

***Amen! If someone like those two cronies you have under you would keep their traps shut, there'd be more members and less drama. Of course, I'm sure you'd never tell THEM that.

The thing I find to be amusing is that most of the people who cause problems, are from the same group.

Exactly WHAT group are you referring to? If you want to post something accusatory like that, you should really name the group. Is it the GoE group? Because they let it go on Friday when they left for Salem. Oddly enough, for Steve to do that surprised me, but it's a nice surprise. The occasional joke is made, but for most intents and purposes, they don't give a rat's ass about HauntSpace anymore. Like I said before, there were only 3 of us, and I sure as hell haven't been going around causing problems. I only respond to messages sent TO me. Even then I try not to be snotty, but I do share my opinion. I also don't go around trying to get people to leave. Y'all doing a fine job of that yourself.

I want Halloween, Haunted House stuff on here, I don't want a HauntSpace episode of Big Brother.


We do have an amazing site here and those that can't play in the sandbox without throwing sand can go elsewhere.

DO NOT....................harass a member of this site. I will find out about it and you'll be a deleted member yourself. If you can't haunt here and you find the type of place you feel you belong in, then all the power to you.


Uh... didn't you already find out about a member harassing another member? Didn't Grimdaddy harass Ravenlunatic in her blog? Didn't he call people names and make nasty comments? Did you do anything about it? Why wasn't HE kicked off? He BLATANTLY disregarded your rules. Favoritism. Foul!!

Cocky as it may sound, I don't have time to play games, and I'll be on the trigger YOU BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR. Halloween is coming and I've heard enough.

Members are here to be Haunters. I am too.

It's a privilage to be on HauntSpace. It's a serious site with a lot of heart. From now on, I will continue to find out who's causing the problems and weed them out, little by little.

***Again, look around you, they're standing right behind you with their lips firmly planted on your rear.

For everyone that leaves, we'll fill the slot with someone who knows how to treat others, and knows how to treat HauntSpace with a little bit of respect.

Get back to Haunting.................................The season approaches.

I'll say it one more time, if some folks kept their big mouths shut and had an ounce of respect for me, none of this would have happened. I'll be running HS a little differently from now on.

Back from vacation early, I wish the good guys and ghouls a wonderful Halloween 2008. To the other people, you can kiss my doopa.

I'm holding back believe me.

Do you know that we have members that backed out of my Bucky giveaway because they didn't want to get hosed for being a friend of mine and winning?

There's more, it's very sad. It shows me how friggen IGNORANT people can be. I haven't been this disgusted in years. Again, this is why I started HauntSpace. I'll weed out the trouble makers, I don't care how skilled they are. Tis the problem with the industry in general. Some folks think that they can score by building the bigger prop.

That's not how I work, I like folks that are decent, follow rules and care for one another.

****************************************************************

And the very first reply to it from starpugsnort, who apparently CANNOT follow the rules that Pete JUST mentioned:

Pete, I'm sorry but I'm gonna use some strong words here and I apologize to anyone who might be offended...


For the people who are causing the problem, SHUT THE HELL UP!! I am SO sick of seeing that you people can't grow up and let stuff go!! For the love of all that's Halloween, STOP WASTING EVERYONE'S TIME AND ENERGY!! This is fricken stupid!! Do you think Pete has nothing better to do than listen to you people bitch about stuff?? You ought to feel HONORED for everything he does for us and this site.

Pete, run the site the way YOU see fit, throw these idiots out and delete the nasty messages. You do a great job and if these as@#oles don't like it, they can kiss all of our doopas!!!

I noticed that person got away with posting that. He/she/it is another of those that pipe up every chance they get, attacking people and egging on the drama. That post is proof of that.

And in conclusion, I'd like to say that I still wish Pete the best for HauntSpace. As an admin myself, I know how frustrating it can be to deal with people who are passionate and opinionated. Fortunately for me, I am still a very small fish in a very small pond with my own site. My mod duties on other boards are limited as well, so I don't really have to put up with a whole lot of crap. I feel that there should always be a 3-strike rule, and I use it myself. The only difference is, I tend to keep problems more private and wouldn't think of posting stuff like this publicly to the masses. I've only made one exception to my public rule, and he's the same moron that Pete has had to deal with elsewhere - hauntmaster/ghostman/grimreaper/pickaname... but that is another story. And even then, I still gave him the 3 chances afforded to everyone before kicking him off.

Any further discussion on this matter can be handled here. I'll gladly respond to anyone with questions or issues with it. Just remember, anything posted here is public, so pick your words carefully because you cannot take them back once posted.

Have a lovely weekend.

Haunt Space, revisited

*sigh*

This is just ridiculous, the whole thing. I've been getting emails and messages asking all sorts of questions, people telling me all sorts of things.. apparently Pete's latest rant on the forums there has people all riled up again. I've been trying to just forget about the drama since stating my piece here. Now I'm going to clear up any misunderstandings that involve me with what's obviously still going on there, starting from the beginning.

Please forgive my memory, it's never been that great and I will probably screw up some accounts of the story since I didn't document everything and a lot of the issues' words were wiped clean by Pete in his efforts to reduce the drama. Pete won't name names, and I will only name the ones that everyone knows about and keep what's said in private locked away.

On the 30th, I posted a blog about the breast cancer drive. I used the word "boobies" and some humor and posted a link to the original blog rather than post the whole blog over again since it was rather tongue in cheek and I knew it wouldn't fly at Haunt Space. I figured if the other breast cancer drive could be posted a few months ago, then I could post the one our group was working on too.

Some time during the night, my blog was replied to, then deleted by Pete. This was his attempt to stem potential problems and he didn't want the word "boobies" causing Haunt Space to show up in searches and what not. He posted this on the forum section of Haunt Space, without names, instead of just PMing me and letting me know. Now, I normally do not even look at the forum, but that post was showing on the home page, so out of curiosity, I read it. Then I told my Garage of Evil friend, Steve, about it since he was the one leading the charge for this.

This is my email to Steve after I copied Pete's post to him:

"He's referring to "boobies" as used in my blog post which he removed. It's fine, I just wish he'd have PM'ed me rather than go the public route when it only deals with 2 blogs, mine and yours (which he obviously left alone). I PMed him and apologized for my lack of good judgment thinking that a word that every child I know used would be okay in this instance. Love Pete to death, but he's way too much of a worrier. "

I asked him not to say anything in a following email and that I would handle it because he does have a temper. Then I replied directly to Pete on the forum. I knew that anyone who read the blog knew whose blog Pete was referring to, and I had no problem with people knowing it was me. My problem was that I felt it should have been handled privately rather than Pete posting on the forum and expecting us to A. see it and B. not be upset at basically being called out in front of everyone. I was also quite surprised that anyone would be upset over my using the word "boobies". The next thing I know, I get an email from Steve saying "Too late". He'd already replied as well on the forum, and he was not as nice as I was.

The next thing I know, several people are slinging insults all over the place. I did NOT want anyone else involved in this, and I knew as soon as Pete posted that on the forum that people would do their usual butting in, whether they think they are helping or not. It NEVER ends up well when things are thrown into the light like that. Thinking back, I wonder how Pete hasn't realized this yet.

A little while later, I found out WHO complained about my blog, although Pete led me to believe it was through replies to my blog. Grimdaddy posted his own blog, unhappy with my wording, with PAHalloweenFreak backing him up as always. He claims to not have attacked me, but I will never know because I was not allowed to deal with this myself, thanks to Pete's trigger-happy fingers and good intentions.

Pete and I PMed a couple of times, I apologized for my lack of good judgement and he apologized for any offense taken. Unfortunately, I was pretty pissed off still, especially after I head more about WHO was involved in creating this problem.

There was some discussion on the Garage of Evil group about the incident thanks to a reply to a message that was supposed to be offlist. It was rather short lived though as we really prefer to leave the drama out of our treehouse.

Meanwhile, I removed all the content off my page and replaced my icon with a cloth pattern. I was pissed off, and I figured I'd rather just take it all down to give myself something to do rather than end up typing more words and getting more pissed. This was my way of cooling off. I also changed my dislikes and put something about disliking hypocrites. It's a genuine dislike of mine.

I was gone from home on that same afternoon/evening as I had to pick up some wallwarts from a guy I went to high school with in Jacksonville for our Florida Haunters gatherings (to have a stock of them for whomever needed them), so I was gone for almost 3 hours with the drive out there during rush hour, his being late, then helping him jump his truck off because his battery died.... plus some errands after that. I got home, cooked dinner, then watched a movie with my husband and went to sleep. I never bothered to check the computer, I just wanted to forget about it.

The next day, I awoke to a surprise in my email with info from other people. Some time during the evening, Pete posted another message on the forum stating (this is paraphrased) "Anyone that questions my decisions or embarasses me on hauntspace will be banned, and i'll be checking pages for any wise comments regarding this and you will be banned too." I also got notifications from hauntspace saying I had messages there, one from Pete too, so I went to check them. SURPRISE!!! I can't sign in. I got banned during the night while I was sleeping. Steve posted to Pete to remove him the day before and he got his request granted. I had no intentions of leaving at all, but I was shown the door.

So I ended up getting ready for a job interview while trying to keep the tears out of my eyes and keep my voice from cracking when my husband was asking me what was wrong. How the hell did all this escalate while I was SLEEPING?

What irks me about this is that Pete knows my email address. We've known each other on the 'net since both our daughters were in diapers. Yet he still chooses to do things in an ass-backward fashion. He could have emailed me and let me know what's going on. He could have waited for a response to his PM before kicking me off. Some people don't spend every waking hour on the computer.

So later that day, another GoE member posted a blog since we were still trying to raise the money for the breast cancer thing. He posted it in a very unoffensive manner. Next thing we know, he's got the boot too - while he was away in Salem, he had no idea what was going on after leaving on Friday afternoon.

During all this, several people from Haunt Space joined the GoE group to keep in touch with those of us who were banned. This was not a disloyalty to Pete or HauntSpace, but a way to still keep in touch with the 3 of us who were no longer members there.

RavenLunatic posted a blog about tolerance/acceptance that day. She WAS attacked by Grimdaddy and PAHF:

"I have been silent through this whole fiasco. I just want to know what this blog has to do with haunting??? It seems to be a political rant. I do believe that you guys have some how managed to draw Pete away from the goals of his site. His TOS even states that he will not tolerate (or "accept") political bantor. Heck my dear RavenLunatic you hardly ever show your face here and now you are taking the fun out of the whole site. I noticed that you are a member at another forum that is hosted by a former member of Haut Space. Did she ask all of you bucket of chaw to come here and rip at another man's website? You don't deserve to be here and should exercise the right to click DELETE that is now found on your page. I came here to make friends in the haunting community and because of you and several others, the front page of the site is filled with garbage. Please do the right thing and go some place where you can kiss a ghostly butt and not destroy others spirits. I am offended by your presence and think you should leave.

By the way....... I did happen to see the original blog, before it was deleted, that started this and I do believe the approach of the charity is off the mark. They seemed more interested in saving anatomical body parts of a woman rather that saving the women themselves. After all, isn't a persons life more important than their individual body parts? I lost my mother and aunt to this terrible affliction.

You all seem hung up on saving the right to use a word that Pete deemed offensive to the site. Shouldn't you use your energy for saving women's lives from breast cancer?!?!?!

Walter C. Wojciechowski"

Now, HOW is it that he can get away with the name calling and insults??? Especially when Pete was so adamant about the rules being followed? How is this??? Rainbow colored smoke is being blown constantly up Pete's derrière I think.

I spent the weekend, while my GoE counterparts were in Salem, doing damage control, and sending emails back and forth with Pete. We finally managed to see each other's points and I thought it was over. I woke up on Sunday morning to hear more bad news - at least two more people were shown the door and now more TOS changes at HauntSpace and anyone who had been banned would NEVER be allowed to come back.

Stunned... I was completely stunned. Suddenly MORE drama is added to the fray. As if there wasn't enough already. Finally, I snapped again after hearing more about what had happened in the past with a certain 2 people and their trouble making and I posted my own blog here and let out every single frustration I had concerning the root of the problem.


I got my response to that finally and replied accordingly. Bitter? Yes, I am. I admit it. It takes a really special person or two to keep my hackles raised like this.

For the rest of the story, I'll post another blog later today. Oh yes... there is more, thanks to yesterday's forum post on HauntSpace.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Haunt Space

I have moved this post from its original location so I don't ruin the feel of my regular Halloween blog. Anyone who doesn't want to read what I have to say, click the X at the top of your browser window now.



Some people are wondering what has happened, and why I am no longer there. I refuse to sit here and bash Haunt Space or Pete, as I believe that it's a great place and Pete is a great guy. I was part of HauntSpace from the beginning, I was there at Haunters Network before that. I've always promoted both and have brought in a few members to HauntSpace over the past couple of years. It's always been a place I know I can send people who love Halloween and that I won't end up regretting sending them to. I went to bed last night thinking that the worst of the drama was over and that things would be getting quieter, if not better. Apparently I was sadly mistaken. I understand the reasons behind my deletion even if I don't agree wholeheartedly with them. Pete and I know how each other feels on the subject.

That said, I am pulling off of the high road and getting this off my chest once and for all, right here, right now.

GrimDaddy, I'm calling you out. You attacked me in the comments on my blog. I never saw the comments, and I can assure you that if I had seen them and was allowed to handle this in my own way, NONE of this garbage would have ever come to light in front of the whole community. Unlike you, I don't go around bashing people outright, and I like to give the benefit of the doubt and try to reason with people. PAHalloweenFreak, you're in this too since you decided to let your nastiness show. I have never been more ashamed of being part of a group before. You have attacked me, you have attacked my friends, and you have attacked people that I don't even know. You've done it repeatedly from what I understand. Yet you still are allowed to remain.

For you, Wally, to talk about ME and MY post is absolutely hypocritical. How is it that I can't use the word boobies and try to use some humor to get some much needed attention for a GOOD cause? How is this possible? If you didn't like it, you could just click the little X at the top of your browser window. You didn't have to attack me. Your little buddy PAHalloweenFreak could have kept her fingers still as well. It seems to me that you two have to back each other up with everything, which is very reminiscent of school yard bullies.

When I read YOUR blogs about your mother - however OFFTOPIC they were and most of them ARE OFFTOPIC, I said nothing. When I read the blog about shopping for your mother's urn with your father, I thought, "How sad". Then I came to the part where you were garnering a business card and trying to get cheap prices for damaged caskets for Halloween, and I was SICK. You turned what was deep sympathy into complete DISGUST. Your mother was dying, yet you are thinking of Halloween props while shopping for her burial urn?? How is it that YOU can do that, but I can't use a little humor? Have you ever seen me attack someone who doesn't provoke it? NO. You have NO CLASS. You think that you can do whatever you want to just because you've met Pete in person? You think you can continue to attack people like you've been doing? I know I'm not the first that this has happened with, I know it won't be the last if you are allowed to remain. You need to get a life, both of you. You can pretend to be all sensitive and high and mighty with your attitudes, but I think everyone sees through all that acting now.


You do not know me, you don't know anything about me, so you need to back the hell off. The Garage of Evil group is not MY group. It is a Yahoo group that I am a part of and that I was asked to help to moderate. Just because my friends there might lack a certain amount of tact does not mean I am like that. Just because you have managed to bring out a side of me right now that not many get to see, does not mean I am a rude, egotistical bitch. You want to see that, look in the mirror. Because of YOU and your malicious comments, many good people have been shown the door. All because YOU can't control your snide comments and constant need to get attention.


I have NOT ONCE asked ANYONE to defend me, nor to jump in and make comments/blogs about this whole situation. I have asked people NOT to get involved, so you need to check your facts before you go around throwing accusations at people. This is exactly why I tend to keep my distance from people. I have never wanted to be in the spotlight, I have never wanted to be popular, and I certainly have never wanted people to think that I am "all that". I'm a shy, introverted person who gets her feelings hurt very easily, but always tries to make peace with people rather than fight in a public forum. I'd like to thank you for making me see the light and showing me that I CAN stand up for what is right for myself. People who DO know me, who have been around me online for all these years, know that I rarely try to argue and that I never try to purposely offend anyone. I was brought up to use humor as a weapon against things that trouble me, in an attempt to make things not feel quite so bad. You have sapped every bit of humor out of me today. There is only one person in this whole entire world that makes me as angry as I am right now, and I never would have thought I'd have someone else do that.

Honestly, "bucket of chaw" ???? Get over yourself man. And I don't know if you noticed or not, but I AM a woman, and I don't see anything wrong with calling them boobies and gaining attention for the cause. I was helping to raise money for something that I believe in. What have YOU done lately besides cause discontent? Hmmm??

And PAHalloweenfreak, you need to back off girlfriend. It's really funny how you tell other people that Pete doesn't NEED help with his site, yet you have to go running around right behind Grimdaddy, sticking your nose in other people's business, and playing your little games that always end up with people getting hurt or banned. I think you have aligned yourself with the wrong person and it will bite you in the ass one day.

Pete and I were discussing things, and maybe my coming back to HauntSpace. Thanks to you, Wally, I don't even want to anymore. I won't be part of something that continues to allow people like you to run rampant. After this blog, I expect that invitation to be rescinded anyway. The only thing I ever wanted to do was help other people; if I'm guilty of anything - it's for giving a damn. Now even that is gone.

To Pete - I am truly sorry that it has come to this. Good luck with Haunt Space. It really is a good resource, just with a few less good haunters now.

For anyone else who wants to take this issue up with me, bring it. I'm right here. Like Pete, I'm tired of being the nice one. Too many people think they can just do whatever and we'll just sit back and let them. Not me, not anymore. If you don't like me, you can kiss off. I don't need any of you, nor do I need your approval. Unlike Pete, I'll do it all in the open with you, right here so nothing is hidden or deleted.